Hi everyone! My blog is finally free! Are you excited? I know I am. I’ve been waiting for the blog to be in the free area for a while now. This is because I’ve always enjoyed reading and participating in blogs, but having it in the members area meant that other bloggers could not participate in my blog. Well, now they can! One big blogging family again…
I’m sorry I’ve been quiet, but I think you’ll forgive me when I tell you that the reason is my trying to get things in order so I can go to the Shadowlane party. Since it involves going away for several days there is a lot of work to be done on the home front! Still, Shadowlane itself always generates a lot of stories so I’m sure there will be a surplus of blog entries upon my return. You’ll probably get some while I’m there too, if I can swing it. Live updates, as it were!
In the meantime, I thought I would tell you about our horrible cat toy. I bought it because the cat seemed sad since he finally succeeded in killing his previous favorite toy. It’s one of those toys on a long flexible stick with a bell and feathers at the end. The cat loves it. He runs after it, bats at it, bites it, jumps for it. It is his new favorite. In that sense I made a good choice. In another sense, well, it was a poor choice.
Remember I said it has a flexible stick? Guess what you can use that part for! My boyfriend decided it looked interesting yesterday before I knew it I was face down being whacked over my PJ bottoms. This is horrible and stingy, sort of like a very thin cane. However as always, the situation got worse when the pants came down. I hate this thing! I can’t believe I brought it into our home. In the future I will definitely be more aware of the potential alternate uses of regular items before I buy them.
The worst part? I have absolutely nothing to show for it. Nothing. It’s so light and stingy that it hurts like heck without any evidence after the fact. I am very disappointed. I am a firm believer that if I have to suffer I should get to have something to show for it!
Ok, I’m late writing this. Why? I guess I just hit writers block. I don’t have the writing skills to adequately describe my experience, and I don’t want to give anyone the wrong impression. Still, folks have been asking to hear about it so I am going to try. This may actually turn out to be a shorter entry than the other two, though.
In an interview after the first day of shooting both Monica and I expressed an interest in being caned. I will say that of the more severe implements I tolerate canes the best. This isn’t to say I tolerate them well because we all know I do not tolerate any spanking all that well. However I knew I needed to do a heavier scene that weekend and I knew that Mr. M had a reputation with the cane. He assured us both that we would not be disappointed. (more…)
So, this week I celebrated my birthday! It was very exciting and I got some really nice gifts from friends and family. I’ve always liked birthdays. Maybe it is because I am an only child, I don’t know. I do know that one of my earliest fantasies to do with spanking was the birthday spanking. I imagine because it is a fairly non threatening situation, and one that comes up in vanilla company fairly often. I think I felt that getting a birthday spanking might be the only way I would ever get to indulge in my secret interest!
Well, I never got that birthday spanking in any vanilla context. None of my friends or family have that as a tradition. It wasn’t until I became plugged into the kink community and involved in my relationship that I experienced my first ever birthday spanking, many months after receiving my first spanking in general. By that point I had already given up any illusions that my boyfriend gives any spankings that could be described as “non threatening.” It was quite the experience, though! I remember counting out loud for him until we reached the magic number. I sighed in relief, thinking we were done. We weren’t done. After that I had to count backwards. Then he still wasn’t satisfied so he just spanked me until he was.
This year my birthday came and went without a spanking. There were hints. I got one swat early in the day and he said, “One!” So, I sat in eager and nervous anticipation. By bedtime though, it was clear I was not going to get a spanking. So I went to bed slightly disappointed, but trying not to have an attitude. Then this morning I couldn’t help myself any longer. I brought it up. The answer I got was both reassuring and alarming. This year my boyfriend has plans to celebrate my birthday at the local fetish club. They have a birthday mixer where spankings are administered to all birthdays for the month. He assured me that I would be getting spanked before we went, so that I would be nice and sore. I was also promised a spanking after the fact.
I’d say that definitely qualifies as more than I was asking for….
Today I’m opening it up to you. Do you prefer good girl spankings or bad girl? What is the purpose of spanking in your life? For some it is all about erotic stimulation and very not about punishment. For others it is all about punishment and if there is not a reason for the spanking there is also no point.
Personally, I am somewhere in the middle. That is, I can “enjoy” both types of spanking depending on the context. I have a strong punishment fetish. I need to experience discipline in my life and I get that both in a real way (my boyfriend) and in role play contexts (various play partners, my videos, etc.). My enjoyment in this area is 100% mental. I do not enjoy the pain on any level, but afterward it really works for me.
“Good Girl” spankings that involve slow warm ups, rubbing, and generally more pleasant sensations are also fun sometimes. My enjoyment of these is 100% physical. This means it is ruined for me if the person doing the spanking doesn’t know how to deliver it properly.
So, those are my two cents. I want to hear from you guys. What do you like and why?
I was promised a spanking the other day. This promise came right at a moment when I absolutely did not want a spanking. I can’t tell you why, I just didn’t feel like it. I swear my boyfriend has radar that tells him when I’m desperate to be spanked (and then he will withhold it because he is a sadist!) and when I am not in the mood. He always seems to pick those moments to inform me that I am about to be spanked. It’s very unfair.
This time I tried the begging approach. He was not moved at all! Then, I tried suggesting alternatives. He did not want to watch a movie, nor did he want to go for a walk. Neither could he be bribed. I tried everything! I offered him a massage and I offered to make him dessert and hot chocolate. I even offered him more uh, personal, favors. Everything I suggested was rejected out of hand. Consequently, I was very nervous.
My anxiety only increased when he went and brought out the two implements he wanted to use. He picked two of the most feared items we own. First, he brought out the “red meanie” which was given to me by Cody. This thing is nasty. That is really the only way I know how to describe it. Truly, I hate it. The other implement he got out is nearly as feared as the “meanie.” I like to call it, “The evil plastic ruler of death.” This actually was an implement I never should have brought home. I picked it up at the last Shadowlane party from one of the vendors who was giving it away for free. It was pink, and plastic, and it never in a million years occurred to me that my boyfriend would want to use it. He did, though, and I hate it very much.
My boyfriend sat the implements down next to me on the couch, and then grabbed a book and kicked back. Torturing me by making me wait is one thing my boyfriend really loves to do. This time though, it backfired. You see, while he was reading his book and prolonging my anxiety attack, something happened. He fell asleep. Just like that his sadistic plans came to an end. Before I went to bed I put the implements back where they are stored and woke him up enough to say goodnight. By the next day the moment had passed, and my bottom was safe again. That was an awful lot of wasted anxiety!