I’ve got some thoughts on my mind today. Don’t ask me why they are coming out now, it’s just where I am. But, my question is related to some of the questions I’ve asked in the past about why kinky people judge other kinky people. My specific question this time is related to parties.
Do you know what I’m talking about? Several times a year there are spanking parties around the country. The two best known ones right now I believe are Shadowlane and Florida Moonshine. At these parties it is common for two sets of people to show up- regular kinky folk who want to have a good time, and professional kinky folk who want to sell their products in addition to having a good time. Then, there are people like me. Spanking models and people in the video industry also go to these parties, but they seem to have a negative reputation. Why?
Do people really believe the myth that spanking models aren’t really kinky? Come on. Sure, some spanking models may do it for a quick buck, but let me tell you something. None of us are getting rich doing this. Those of us who are committed to it and keep at it for more than a couple of shoots do it because we are kinky and this is a way to express it. It seems pretty crappy to me that someone like me, who puts my whole self out there on the internet for other kinky people to enjoy would be rejected by fellow kinky people when I go to socialize and have a good time. Do I expect special treatment? No way. But I do expect to be embraced as a member of the community!
This brings me to another point. It seems the general perception is often that spanking models are not really part of the community- that we are elitist snobs who only socialize with each other at these events. I can tell you that that isn’t really true. At least, it’s never been my goal. I was involved with spanking well before I became a model, and I had many friends in the community. If you see spanking models associating with each other, maybe a more charitable response would be to consider the fact that they likely know each other and are nervous around new people just like you. You might also consider the fact that when we feel excluded we are likely to cling to people who make us feel safe. Does that make us snobs? Nope. It makes us human.
So I guess I’m asking. Why is this perception out there and what can we do to change it? Do you really think we’re that bad, or is something else going on here?
I love period spanking scenes. The reason I love them so much is because although spanking certainly is still used today it is in history that we see the most examples of it. I’ve roleplayed a variety of historical scenes- everything from a standard schoolgirl in a 1950s boarding school to judicial whippings at different points in history.
Some of my favorites include Victorian maid, and WW2 refugee. These are very versatile and you can find many examples of them throughout literature and film. I’ve always enjoyed looking to movies and books for inspiration, especially since CP is depicted much more freely in the past than it is now.
Jeoffry has suggested an Alice in Wonderland scene with Cindy and myself. Do you enjoy period stuff or do you relate best to current times? What’s your favorite period role play?
Mr. G has announced over on WSF that AEG is the proud owner of a new building. This means that sometime in the near future you all are probably going to be seeing scenes in new settings. I was just thinking about it, and thought it would be fun to get your opinion on what kinds of sets you’d like to see in a new space.
I personally think the two main staples of any spanking studio have to be bedrooms and classrooms. Bedrooms are essential because so much domestic style discipline takes place in them. What naught girl hasn’t been sent to her room to await punishment? An ideal bedroom set would also have a window available for various options such as “let the neighbors see” and sneaking out scenarios.
The classroom is essential because well, if you’re going to to the school girl stuff I think authenticity is really important. Sure, you can have a good schoolgirl scene without it, but you can’t have a great one. But then, I’m probably just showing my own bias.
So, these are the staples. If you had your way, what else would you like to see? I’m sure you guys can be more creative than me.
What other punishments do you like to throw in with spanking? One obvious example is corner time. I’ve certainly experienced my share of this. I’ve also experienced a variety of “time out” positions in addition, such as kneeling on uncomfortable surfaces and holding books out on my arms.
Another type of punishment I’ve experienced along with spanking is mouth soaping. This is particularly disgusting, and depending on the soap can have pretty long lasting consequences. Once I had my mouth washed out with dish soap (I know, not good) and my taste buds were not right for at least a week. It was as if the were burned. Granted, putting harsh chemicals in your mouth is not something I generally recommend. Yeah. Don’t try this at home.
Some more intimate punishments include anal discipline or spanking of the genitals. I’ve experienced the latter, and it’s definitely something I hope to avoid in the future. I’ve also heard about the use of nettles in punishments, both as a spanking implement and as an uncomfortable addition to a naughty girl’s panties.
Any other good ones?
What do you think the best way to ask for a spanking is? I know personally I hate asking outright most of the time. Yet, we can’t expect our partners to be mind readers right? One obvious solution is bratting. I think this is how many people handle it. After all, being a brat is a built in excuse for a punishment. I don’t love bratting either, though.
Something else I’ve tried to do is initiate role play. This is fun, but can lead to some funny mishaps if everyone isn’t on board with the role play. For instance, once I sent my boyfriend an email pretending to be a teacher. He misunderstood, and thought I’d given his email address to someone. He wasn’t happy, and the role play was aborted.
Do you have any creative ideas? I’ve asked this before, but I’m looking for something fun!
What is your favorite dynamic to see in a spanking video? Personally I love domestic scenes- husband, parental style, etc. However, I don’t get to do that nearly as much as school. I think there are several reasons for this, most of them legal. It’s tricky when you want to portray something domestic because the laws say that you can not portray a minor. Obviously this puts limits on the sort of language that can be used. Some sites ignore this, but larger operations can’t usually afford to.
I do enjoy school scenarios, too. I’m partial to the English style school scenes because of their formality, but American ones have their own flavor. The only thing I really dislike about American school scenes is that they often feature my least favorite implement: the school paddle.
Apparently, shoes are a very traditional spanking implement. I was never aware of this when I was young and forming my core spanking fantasies, though. In fact, when I did finally hear about shoes being used for spanking I thought it was very strange. It seemed “weird” to me. That is a little bit ironic I guess considering that fetishes themselves are not exactly normal.
But, the deeper I got into the spanking community the more I started hearing about shoes. The more British material I read and watched the more I came to understand that shoes are a longstanding tradition in many homes and schools. In England they call it, “The Slipper” and it is usually depicted as a white canvas gym shoe. It took me a few years, but I did eventually get spanked with one. Let me tell you, they hurt. A lot. Not just because I’m a wimp either. It makes some sense to me in hindsight. After all, rubber toys are known for being particularly painful. What are shoe soles made of? Yeah. Rubber.
Other shoes I’ve been spanked with include hiking boots, flip flops and dress shoes. Some are definitely worse than others. Do you have experience with shoes? To be honest I can think of very few videos that depict this, other than a couple of flip flop scenes. Is this something that would be popular or not?
I got a spanking the other day. It was nice, because I haven’t had much chance to do a long drawn out scene for a while. You know, the kind that start slow and actually allow you to adjust and acclimate a bit before the extreme pain starts. If I’m not actually being punished, I’m a big fan of the “warm up” portion of a spanking.
I remember mentioning this at one of my shoots. Cindy looked at me like I was from Mars and said, “Your first spanking is your warm up.” Well, ok then.
Nevertheless, it is a fact that I can take far more pain far more gracefully if I have had a warmup. And, on this occasion I got one. He was very nice and started with light strokes and light implements. However, I noticed a fairly surprising trend. You see, I am afraid of some of the “thuddy” implements. This is mainly due to my stature (I worry about safety), and the fact that I am generally afraid of pain even though I need it. But, after I got warmed up I discovered that I did actually tolerated the thuddy stuff better.
What’s up with this? Really, by the end of the scene he was using his “lightest” and “least severe” leather paddle, yet this was the thing that brought me to tears, while the heavy paddles were actually halfway pleasant. I wish this was true without warmups too! It’s always nice to discover something new.
Real Spankings has a DVD devoted entirely to tears. Apparently, it’s fairly rare for a spanking model to cry on camera. Some companies even pay more for tears because they are so elusive. There are a lot of theories about why this is. One of the biggest ones is that for models who aren’t inherently kinky, they have to shut down and “gut through it” in order to cope with the pain. I think this is probably true of many people. Internalization can really help get through a painful experience.
I’m the opposite. I cry and yell (yeah, I know you probably know that already). Some people tell me it’s wonderful, some people complain and think I can’t take a very hard spanking because I react big. I think my tolerance is somewhere in the middle. I don’t take the hardest, but I don’t take the lightest either. If anything, my spankers are sometimes likely to back off not because I tell them to, but because they are freaked out by my reactions on some level. But, to a certain extent, my tears are a way to process the pain. The reactions help me get through it. There is freedom in being able to scream as loud as you can. I like that.
Ironically, sometimes the hardest spankings are the ones I don’t cry for. Perhaps that’s because they often require more control on my part in order to stay safe. For some reason I always find that vaguely dissatisfying.
When people think of spankings, usually there is a standard set of implements that goes with different types of spankings. At home you have domestic things like belts, hairbrushes, wooden spoons. School scenarios usually involve paddles or canes. There are others, but I think you get the point.
In a prior post I listed every implement I could remember being spanked with. Some of them were a bit odd, such as shoes, rope, cat toys, TV remotes. I have to admit that I rather enjoy the unusual implements that pop up when you’re looking for something. I’m also a bit surprised at times by how painful innocuous household items can be. I think it adds a bit of variety, and that is always fun. There are definitely some people out there who expect spanking to be serious business at all times, but what can I say? I like it fun occasionally.
What is the most unusual thing you’ve been spanked with? Does it bug you to have your Top go for the TV remote, or does it make it more fun?